Music Video First Draft

I am pleased with my first draft as I feel I have achieved the look I wanted to already and set the scene for the narrative. I am pleased with the editing I did however I am aware that there are still a few changes I would like to make as well as re-shooting some shots for example the two shot of Freddy and James smoking and the pan across the pillows to Sophie's face. The two shot of Freddy and James may need to be re-shot as James looks at the camera and I didn't film for long enough and therefore when it came to editing I had no option but to slow the speed down to make the shot long enough as I regretably didn't do more than one take. To improve the shot whilst making sure I do not have the planning problems I had when trying to arrange a day to shoot, I could use of close up shot instead of Freddy's mouth smoking as this would be easier to arrange due to the close deadline however I could re-film the original shot for longer and without James looking at the camera. Next, the pan shot I feel is actually too long, I believe it would look better if I added in a different shot before the pan shot to reduce the time of the pan shot. Overall, I am pleased with the outcome of my first draft but I am also thinking of improvements I could make to my music video and need to make a start in getting my audience feedback.